Dancing Into My Heart
by MissMurderer7834
Summary: Jace has forgotten how to have fun. Totally into his teaching career now, he meets Clary, a lively dancer who strikes many emotions in him. This beautiful redhead is hiding something from him, though... what could it be? R&R please!
1. Saving Jace

**In this story, Jace and Clary are kind of switched. Jace is a high school English teacher (but still as sexy as he is in MI Series ;D) and Clary is a wild dancer who lives for the thrill, living life to its complete fullest. I know it's very different from the original series, but I liked the idea so much that I wanted to write about it!**

**Btw, all the characters in this story belong to Cassandra Clare (sorry, I have to put that in there).**

1

JPOV

"Magnus," I said almost angrily, "I highly doubt Alec has approved of you dragging me off to random clubs in the middle of the night." Magnus shrugged his thin shoulders.

"Alec doesn't want to come, so I take you instead. Besides," he said with a smile, "maybe we can find you a girlfriend for the _first time in your life_." I shook my head.

"Not a chance in hell, Bane. I'd die before dating one of your 'approved' girls." I put air quotes around the word approved. Why was Magnus so bent on getting me to start dating again? Kaelie had been a mistake, and I wasn't making that mistake again. I looked around, half naked people dancing was hardly my idea of a good Friday night. Magnus dragged me somewhere else, and I soon realized that was the bar. Good. I opened up my messenger bag, which I had managed to grab before Magnus stormed in my room and pulled me here. And I did what any teacher would do. I started grading papers. It was like a default to me nowadays. I didn't have much time to do anything else these days. Magnus groaned, shoving the papers in my bag. He took my bag and gave it to the bartender.

"Jon," he said, "hide this somewhere the teacher won't find it." Jon laughed and nodded, taking it away.

"Hey!" I yelled, trying to go after him. Magnus shoved me down into my seat.

"Jace," he said, "I say this because I care." His glitter encrusted eyes held a caring expression. "Stop working for one minute. Can't you see how much you're missing in the real world?" He asked, gesturing to around him. I crossed my arms.

"I never liked clubbing," I retorted. He crossed his arms now.

"You did when you were with Kaelie." I shook my head.

"She's history, and so are my students chances of getting into college if I don't get those papers back," I said, about to get up. Magnus shoved me back into my seat.

"Consider this an intervention, Jace." He sighed. "Izzy misses the fun you. She hates this new, work oriented person you've become. Alec misses having sarcastic conversations with you. You're never fun anymore. Even _I_ miss the old you, Jace. Hell, if I can admit _that_, it means I care enough to let you know that you're not… this person." I shook my head, turning my head to face the bartender.

"Can I get a beer?" I asked. He nodded, going somewhere. I turned my head back to Magnus, having a feeling this was going to be a long talk. Magnus just frowned.

"Jace, I know you're not happy with this person either, and I'm not going to just stand here and let you go on like this. But I'm not going to wait for you to change, either. You'll change when you're ready." He walked away, finding somebody to dance with. The bartender gave me the bottle, and I lightly sipped from it. The contents were bitter and had a light stinging sensation. Was I this bad? I'd forgotten what even the littlest trace of alcohol tasted like.

I heard a chime-like laugh, along with some singing. The voice was singing along to the current song, 'Dynamite' by Taio Cruz. The voice was so beautiful, it was all I could hear. The song changed and the voice was gone. One more laugh, anything to hear it again. I turned myself around, searching for any trace that it had been real. There was nothing left of the voice, and I didn't know who it had come from. I pulled my thin glasses off, as if that would help me see the voice. Nothing. I put the glasses back on and sipped from the bottle again, a little more than last time. They played 'Dynamite' again. I hated this song, it was so pointless. At least it had a good beat. And then I saw a flash.

Bright, flaming red hair through the crowd, it caught my eye. The flash of red had radiated such passion, beauty. Perhaps I was reading too much Shakespeare. Another flash, half a smile and an eye, the color of emeralds after they have been polished for hours. Her eyes glowed in the dark club. _I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying ay-oh, got to let go…_ People put their hands up. Pale skin, so light and delicate. Her nails were painted bright red.

And then I could see her. She had a small, fragile frame, and was much shorter than me. Her lips were red, and her thin strapped dress a bright, clashing green. She radiated life, everything about her was so beautiful and alive. Her curls bounced as she danced with some other people, bright red ringlets. She wore no makeup besides the red lipstick, and she had no need to. She was beautiful without it.

I pulled my gaze away. This was how Kaelie started. I wasn't going into it again. And then somebody sat next to me. A chime-like laugh as she put her elbows on the counter. She looked at me.

"You look out of place," she said, not even thinking her sentence through before saying it. I couldn't help but smile.

"I was brought here against my will." She smiled.

"I thought so. Your sparkly friend is dancing with one of mine. He told me to try to convince you to stop thinking about grading," she said, a little out of breath. She had a little glitter on her face. _Magnus_, I thought with a smile.

"You're doing a horrible job of convincing," I told her. She sat down, snapping her fingers at the bartender. He nodded, and she smiled.

"Good. I'm danced out." The man put a drink in front of her, and one in front of me. She was putting a hand quickly across her neck, trying to get him to stop. "Jon, he's not a date!" She all but yelled at him. He laughed, shrugging.

"So what?" He asked, lightly punching her on the shoulder. She took his arm and twisted it around, actually hurting him. He laughed. "Ow, ow, _ow_! Damn it, you've gotten better at that!" She laughed.

"I learned from the best, big brother." He ruffled her hair, walking away. She looked back to me. "I'm sorry, I haven't formally introduced myself yet." She stuck out her hand. "I'm Clary Fray. And you?" I shook her hand slowly, a little curious.

"Jace Wayland." I smiled a little as I shook her small hand. She took a long sip of the red liquid inside the red cup.

"I desperately need to get drunk," she said to no one in particular after putting her cup down. A different song started playing, 'Pyramid' by Charice. It was slower, and everybody danced a little more slowly. She smiled just a little. "It's been ages since I've slow danced." Every thought in my mind was screaming _'ASK HER TO DANCE!' _but me, being the genius I am, made some unintelligible noise. Magnus rushed back over to me. He was gasping uncontrollably.

"Jace," he said breathlessly, "we have to leave now. Izzy is _really_ pissed at me for taking you anywhere without her, and if we don't get home fast, she said she'll take away my mirror and all your books." This got my attention.

"If she touches Shakespeare, she's going to hell." Clary giggled at our conversation and we both looked at her. Jon put my messenger bag back on the counter, and I took it, putting whatever money I found in my pocket on the counter to pay for my drink, which I hadn't finished at all. "Keep the change," I said, running with Magnus.

CPOV

The man was running with Magnus. Jace, he had said his name was. His beautiful golden eyes had captured me the moment I looked into them, and his golden curls were perfect. I had to stop myself from reaching out and running a hand through his hair. He seldom smiled, but I loved his smile. I wanted to get to know him so much better, I wanted to have an actual conversation with him. I would never say it out loud, but I _loved_ a man in glasses. I found them extremely attractive. He had such a strong voice, yet he held back his true feelings. I really hoped that this 'Izzy' person wasn't his girlfriend.

Jon looked at me, his pale blonde hair over his eyes. He had eyes as black as midnight.

"What're you thinking, Clary?" He asked. He was amused at my expression, which was curiosity. I was curious! Jace was beguiling… So full of emotion yet somehow blocked from others. I'd fix that soon enough. I smiled lightly.

"I'm thinking he could be a good friend," I said. Jon frowned. "Magnus, I mean." He still frowned.

"You know I don't approve of your 'friends,' right?" I nodded.

"That's what makes it even more fun." Jon pinched my cheek, giving me the house keys. We lived together, just until my dance studio's rooms opened up again. They were down for renovations. I walked out of the club, my dress clinging to my slightly moist skin. I'd have to remember to slow dance with someone this week.

Out of nowhere, I remembered my mom's words.

_Passion rules the heart, Clary. Go where your passion takes you._

I smiled to myself. Dancing _was_ my passion. I wondered what Jace's passion was.


	2. Painting Opinions

**Thanks for all the nice reviews! It's my first time trying to do a story like this, usually I'm more on the serious side… I actually kind of like this style! Keep commenting!**

2

JPOV

Hm. Maybe if you look at it this way… that's it. This sucks. I stared at the canvas in front of me. Aline, one of my fellow teachers, had asked me to paint something for the teacher art auction. I painted all I could think of.

It was a dark room, only one spotlight. It shone on the one thing that wouldn't get out of my mind. A certain pale redhead. In the painting, she was in the center, and she wore the same green dress. I hadn't done her justice. Her smile was slightly crooked, her eyes laughing to little, her body too short, her legs too thin. I noticed in the painting, behind all the black figures dancing, there was a little ribbon of blonde hair and a golden eye. Damn it. I'd accidentally drawn myself into the painting. I started to get more black, but I heard footsteps, little clicking heels.

"And who, may I ask, is that?" A high, bell toned voice asked. I turned around to see Aline, looking intently at the painting. "She's beautiful." I couldn't even smile.

"She's horrible." Aline was confused. I quickly corrected myself. "I mean the painting, not the girl. The girl is amazing." Aline smiled.

"What? A girl that _doesn't_ like the sexy Mr. Wayland?" I couldn't help but laugh at this. "It's true. Almost every teacher loves you. Well, at least the girls. Though I think Mr. Walters was checking you out the other day…" I laughed again. Aline knew just how to make me feel better. A dark-haired man walked in with a palette full of midnight blue and light tan paint. He saw Aline and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hello to you too," Aline said with a little laugh.

"What, no kiss for me?" I asked. All of us laughed. It had been ages since I had joked with anyone.

"Something's changed," Raphael said. Aline crossed her arms, smiling.

"I agree, Raphael. Something's off about him." I shook my head.

"Magnus dragged me off to a club in the dead of night and forced me to have fun. Which I didn't." Had I gotten better at lying? Aline looked at my painting again.

"Is… is that you in the back?" She asked. I groaned.

"I'm trying to black it out, if you don't mind. I didn't even notice I'd drawn it." She took the canvas with one quick move.

"I like it. It's going in the auction this way." I chased after her, I knew I was faster, but she ran faster than me today. It was a surprise to me. She left the room and closed the door, making me run right into it. I felt my nose crack in an unnatural way.

"Damn it, Ally!" I yelled. She opened the door the door, dropping the dry canvas and sitting down next to me.

"Oh, you poor baby," she said, touching my nose gingerly. Raphael had collapsed in laughter. I shot him an angry look, then a sarcastic one.

"Aw, thanks Ally, you're the best, I love you." Aline looked content with this answer, but Raphael looked like the guy from Saw without the mask.

"Will… kill… you… Jace…" he said in between angry paces, getting closer to me. I was glad he didn't have any weapons at the moment. Aline giggled.

"When I asked for guys to fight over me, I didn't mean my best friend and my boyfriend," she said. I tried to laugh, but my nose started throbbing.

"Can we go to the hospital now?" I asked Aline. She nodded, letting me get up and follow her. Raphael dropped his palette onto the table and followed, wiping his hands on his pants. I looked at my hands, they were covered in dry paint streaks. One of them was bright, bright green. I couldn't help but smile. Maybe my painting wasn't so bad. Aline was carrying it to her car. Once we reached, she shoved it in the trunk, then let us all get in.

"Ow. _Ow_. _Ow!_" The doctor kept poking my nose with a little stick. "I think we've established the fact that it _hurts_!" The doctor gave me a look.

"Whatever." I just stared at him, dumbstruck. Whatever? My nose was broken and all he could say was whatever? "You'll just need to bandage it for a while until it heals." Aline stroked my arm.

"I'm going to bedazzle whatever they put on your nose," she said. I felt the need to slap myself on the forehead. _That's_ what my best friend had to say?

"Aline," Raphael said with a light smile, "you aren't stroking his arm, you're stroking his ego." He then looked at me. "I mean, your ego seems to heal pretty fast, so why not your face, angel boy?" I shook my head.

"I have the best friends in the world," I said to myself. Aline hugged me.

"I know," she said with a laugh, not hearing the sarcasm in my voice. Raphael, on the other hand, laughed. The doctor came back with some white bandages. He started putting them on my nose. They were tight, but it felt a little better.

"You'll be alright in a few weeks. You seem to heal very fast." He didn't say anything after that, just left. We left, too.

"Come on," Aline said. "We've got to get ready for the auction. Did you sign your art yet?" I shook my head.

"And I don't want to." She shrugged.

"Alright, then we're got another anonymous."

"Who's the other one?" I asked her. She smiled.

"Mine," she said proudly. Raphael smiled just a little.

"It's a panda, Aline. I don't think it's that anonymous coming from the teacher who has the thousands of panda pictures in her room." She shoved him, but he didn't move. She was far too tiny to make him move at all. He put am arm around her and she just let him. Why couldn't my life be that easy? Oh, right. Three reasons. One, my gay friend's boyfriend. Two, my gay friend. Three, my terribly beautiful sister figure. Why couldn't they all just stop trying to get me to date again? I'd do it when I was ready to.

Maybe I was ready to. An image for Clary flowered in my mind. Lips like rosy flower petals. Eyes that were ever laughing. A smile that I would die to see just once more. Skin as delicate and fragile as porcelain. Hair like thousands of little laces scattered across her china doll face, as red as an apple. I'd look at her all day if I could. But I couldn't, I reminded myself. I'd probably never see her again.

"Jace?" Aline said, waving a hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my trance like state and looked down at the short Asian woman in front of me. Aline was very beautiful, but not as beautiful as Clary. I don't think anyone could be as beautiful as Clary.

"What?" I asked. Aline pointed to the car. "Oh, right." I got in, and she started to drive. My eyes were on Aline as she spoke and laughed, but my mind was on Clary.

CPOV

"Who painted this?" I asked as I walked around the teacher's painting auction. I went every year to see what Simon had painted. He taught math at the high school. I always blamed him when a student was failing for giving them too much homework. Simon's painting had been of his class; everyone sleeping or writing in their books or throwing paper. I had quite liked it.

What I was staring at right now, though, was even more beautiful. It was under the name 'anonymous' and it was a painting of me at the club yesterday. My hair was scattered along the nape of my neck and my eyes were so green it almost hurt with the intensity of them. My smile was more beautiful than my actual smile, dangerously fun, as was my expression. My skin was a nicer shade than it really was. I was well proportioned in the painting, unlike in real life. In real life, I had no ass and too much chest. I real life, I had dull, mossy eyes. In real life, my skin was pale as snow. In real life, my hair was unruly and tangled all the time. And then I saw the person in the back of the painting. Jace.

"So you're the girl," a very pretty Asian woman said with a smile. "I was wondering who he painted." I pointed to the painting.

"Did Jace do this?" She nodded. I was so shocked. I didn't know he painted. And why was I the center of the painting? He did himself no justice. "Wow." That was all I could manage. I touched the painting, just to make sure it was real. I touched Jace's face in the background, wondering why he hadn't drawn a little more of himself into it. I noticed Jace walking around, looking at some of the paintings. I smiled and walked over to him.

TPV (Third Person's View)

The man walked over to the painting of the beautiful redheaded woman. He smiled very lightly and put a bid down. $3,000.

"Wow," a small Asian woman said. She was shocked at the bid. "You must really want this painting." Sebastian looked up at her, smiling almost darkly.

"You could say that. It'll be a gift." He looked over to the redheaded woman. He then noticed that she was talking to a light haired, curly blonde man with golden eyes. His smile slowly faded. He would get her back, no matter what it took. Her eyes scanned over the crowd, then met his. She was startled at first, then led the blonde man out of the room, saying something to him. Her eyes were still fixed on Sebastian. He smiled a little more darkly at her. She walked out, almost scared. Sebastian looked back at the woman in front of him. She was short, but very good looking. A dark haired man walked over to her and took her by the waist, leading her away as she laughed. Sebastian looked back at the painting. He noticed a little sliver of blonde hair and a golden eyes hidden behind the black of the crowd. That man, whoever he was, wasn't getting in the way of his Clary. She _would_ be his again. No matter what the price.


	3. Ghosts of the Past

**The weirdest thing happened to me today… I walked into my math class late and the first words I heard were 'sexual abstinence.' And my **_**teacher**_** said it… right after my other teacher had practically stripped out of his sweatshirt… at least he has nice abs ;)**

**Sorry for the random sharing story, but it was too funny to keep to myself… hope you like the latest installment! It's a bit depressing, and I know, I made Kaelie have black hair, but it fit more…**

3

CPOV

Simon and I were dress shopping… well I was shopping and he was complaining. It was our weekly thing. I saw a nice, flowing white dress. It looked angelic. Simon picked it out.

"This is one dress I approve of," he said. I frowned.

"That's only because it doesn't have a deep neck, it goes down to my knees, and it has sleeves." I touched the fabric. It was so soft, almost unbelievable. I thought of how it would look with the ballet routine for the studio show in Brooklyn… beautiful. A man took the dress from me.

"Sorry, this is bought and reserved for someone," he said. I was curious, and I smiled.

"Who?" I asked him. He looked at the tag.

"A Clarissa Fray," he said, looking at the attached picture. He then looked at me, then back at the picture. "Sorry, ma'am, I hadn't seen the picture." He handed me the dress with a smile. Who would reserve a dress for me?

"Who bought it?" I asked. He shrugged.

"A tall man with blonde hair," he said. I smiled just lightly.

"Golden eyes and curls?" I asked him. Simon crossed his arms.

"Yeah…" he said, confused. "I hope you like the dress." He left. I remembered I had told Jace I needed a dress for my ballet routine and that I was going to go to this store, Kitty Kat. Simon was looking at me confusedly. Then he got it.

"Wait, _Jace_?" He asked me. I shrugged.

"I dunno, there could be a lot of golden eyed, curly blonde, handsome men in New York, right?" Simon shook his head.

"Clary, what did you do to him?" Simon asked me, a look of almost regret in his eyes. I scoffed.

"_Me_? Do to _him_?" I wanted to laugh at the thought. Simon shook his head.

"Clary, he's not alright." I suddenly became very still.

"Like Sebastian?" I asked quietly. Simon quickly shook his head.

"No, god no, Clary. Sebastian was insane," he said, putting a hand around me. "I mean that Jace had his heart broken once before, and he never forgets it. Some girl named Kaelie." He sighed, looking me right in the eyes. Damn. He was serious. "Jace is one of my friends, and so are you, and I don't want to see either of you hurt. Clary, you dance in and out of people's lives. He can't take that at this point. We've all been trying to remind him to _live_, and we've gotten pretty far." Simon's lips curled a little at the corners, as if to sadly smile. "At least he's laughing again." Then his gaze went back to me. "Just don't hurt him, Clare. I have a feeling that if you danced in and out of his life, you'd be stepping on an already broken heart." I was dead silent for about a minute.

"Wow." It was all I could say after that silence. "_That_ is deep, man." Simon gave me a menacing look. I sighed. "I have no intention of hurting Jace. He's actually pretty sweet." I lifted up the hanger and waved it, as if to prove my point. Simon smiled.

"I know he's sweet. So now I want to know what black magic you've done to make him like you." WHAT? Can't a smart, sensitive guy like me without Simon thinking that I did some… yeah, it is a bit suspicious.

"I didn't do jack, Si! _He_ likes_ me_ because he wants to!" Simon sighed.

"This conversation isn't over, Clary!" He yelled as he ran after me out of the store. And then, all the way on the other side of the parking lot, I saw a face I never wanted to see again. And then a dark smile.

Midnight black hair fell slightly over his ears, very attractively, actually. Even darker eyes were digging deep into my own. Tan skin spread over a muscular body. He could take Simon in a second, but pressing to Simon's side and hiding myself partially made me feel better. He walked in our direction. I hid the dress behind Simon, along with myself.

"Let's get out of here, plea…" I was cut off my a voice.

"Simon." His voice was still as deep as it had been months ago. "Clary," he said my name more softly. "How are you two?" Simon crossed his arms.

"Get out of here, Verlac," Simon said, "before Clary has to get a restraining order." Sebastian crossed his arms, amused.

"Now you wouldn't do that, would you, Kitten?" Sebastian's eyes were still on Simon, and vice versa. I didn't say a thing. I was too afraid of him to even move. "So," Sebastian said to Simon, "are you her voice now?" Simon stiffened just slightly, bracing himself incase Sebastian tried anything.

"I told you, Sebastian, get out of here." Sebastian wore a thin smile.

"I've got to buy a dress for my cousin. And besides," he said, now wearing a thin smirk, "it's a public place." I walked out from behind Simon, walking away. I took Simon's hand and tugged him along. Simon stood, adamant. I looked back at him pleadingly.

"Simon, please." He couldn't stand the sight of me scared. I knew it. He walked with me, keeping his eyes on Sebastian, who waved with a laugh. Simon was cursing under his breath, trying not to let me hear. I heard every word. When we got to the car, I opened the door and sat down. And I cried. I was careful to put the dress in the back before I let the waterworks start. Every time Simon even moved, I'd cry more. He was kind of like the big brother who didn't know what to do. I just cried and cried and cried. And then it was 9:00. The sun was setting. I stopped crying and put my feet down, putting my seat belt on, and acting like nothing happened. Simon just drove.

JPOV

_About a year ago (Kaelie)_

She was laughing. She was laughing at something I had done, and I couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she looked when she smiled. Almost unbelievable. We were just talking over coffee. Kay sipped hers slowly, careful because of the temperature. Me, on the other hand, being a genius, just took a gulp and ended up choking on it. And that's why she had laughed. And I didn't even feel the burn, just because she was with me.

"I love you," I said. She looked at me confusedly.

"What?" She asked me, as if she didn't hear me. I knew she had, but I wanted to say it again anyways.

"I love you, Kay." She was a bit confused.

"Well, Jace, I… I really don't know how I… I mean, I like you, but… I just…" she couldn't process my words. She ran a hand through her black hair. "Jace, I don't know what to say to that." I shook my head.

"Don't say anything. I just wanted you to know." She shook her head.

"No, Jace. I don't feel the same way." Now _I _was confused. "I _like_ you, Jace, really, a lot." Her expression wasn't apologetic. It was almost amused. "I don't love you, though. I don't think I ever will." She smiled a little. "I'm sorry. I don't think we can keep dating with that in the way. I guess this is goodbye then." She got up, kissed me on the cheek, and left. I was still in shock. What just _happened_? She just left. She hadn't even looked one bit sorry. Like all she wanted was to break me. I was just frozen there.

It had been about an hour since Kaelie had left, and I still sat there, now with my hands over my head and my chin on the table. What had just happened? I was so confused. Was she really gone? For a year she had played me, just to tell me she didn't love me _back_? Hurt. That was what I felt.

I mean, Kaelie had never been a great girlfriend, always late, never around, really only in it for the sex. But I'd opened myself up to her, and this is what I got. God, why was I such an idiot? Why couldn't I be just like Raphael? I mean, when Emily broke up with him, he just moved on like nothing happened.

Maybe that was what I needed to do. Nothing happened. Nothing. Kaelie was _nothing_.

Who am I kidding? Kaelie was _everything_ to me. God, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, _stupid_ romantic English teacher and my stupid, _stupid_ sensitivity, and stupid Shakespeare, and stupid girls, and stupid Kaelie…

No, Kaelie could never be stupid. Kaelie was anything but. Kaelie was… _amazing_. Screw my life. The shopkeeper stopped at my table and sat down.

"What's up?" He asked me. I looked up.

"Why do you care?" I asked, my voice very light and nonthreatening. He shrugged, his spiky bluish-black hair dragging my attention away from Kaelie for about a second. Nope, back to Kaelie.

"You seem like you need someone to talk to," he said. I noticed the glitter lining his eyes, and the kohl was even thicker than Izzy wore. Great. I was about to pour my life story out to a _very_ openly gay guy. This is all I need.

"My girlfriend just told me she doesn't love me. So now I'm confused." The guy sighed.

"Sucks, huh?" I nodded.

"Yeah. Sucks." The guy was sitting backwards on the chair. "Wait a second," I said, thinking. "Aren't you Alec's boyfriend?" I asked him. I'd seen him around the house a few times. He and I had had conversations… how had I forgotten?

"Yeah," Magnus said, raising and eyebrow and smiling. "Forgot the glitter already?" I couldn't even bring myself to laugh. "You'll get over her. I saw her, wasn't that pretty." I half smiled.

"She was beautiful," I said, not looking at Magnus. He sighed.

"The first step to getting _over_ someone is to trash them with obscene language and rude gestures." Most everybody was gone. "Now, who are you?" I raised an eyebrow. Magnus lightly laughed. "Allow me to explain. This is an example." He cleared his throat. "I'm Magnus Bane, I'm a gay guy living in Brooklyn, I've got a great boyfriend, my life is amazing, and I work at a coffee shop, even though I dream of being a stylist." He smiled. He had a nice smile. "Your turn." I sighed.

"I'm Jace Wayland, and I…" He slapped me. He just reached across the table and slapped me. I was angry now. "What was that for?" He smiled.

"Good. You're angry. Now try again." I almost growled at him.

"My name is Jace Wayland, and I used to be happy before Kaelie Winston ruined my life, and I wish I could just kill myself, and my life sucks, and I'm an English teacher, even though I dream of being dead!" I realized I'd pretty much screamed that. Magnus smiled.

"Very good, Jace. You've let your initial anger out. Now we're onto…"

"Depression," I cut him off.

"Yes," Magnus replied. "Now let's walk to the Lightwood's house, I've got to see Alec anyways, and I don't trust you to walk home alone without pushing yourself in the way of a bus." I wanted to laugh at that, but I couldn't.

I sighed, looking down at a picture of Kaelie and me. That was only part of the story. There was much, much more. The picture frame was so light, so _taunting_. And then I did something that Magnus had told me to a long time ago. I threw it at the wall. I could hear the glass shatter, and the billions of shards coated the floor, glittering in the light as they fell. I smiled just lightly. That had given me so much joy. I took another picture of Kaelie and threw it at the wall. A little bit of paint came off with it, but I didn't care. The glass made a louder sound this time. I threw another one. And another one. I laughed now. The sound was so appealing after all these days of suffering. And when I threw one more, Izzy opened the door, wearing her usual suit and skirt combo.

"Jace!" She yelled, about to stop me. Magnus stopped her by putting a hand in front of her. I didn't even let my gaze wander from the pictures hitting the wall.

"He needs this, Iz," Magnus told her, watching me. I felt amazing. As I threw one more, I felt tears. She'd broken every ounce of confidence I had. She'd broken every ounce of hope I'd held. She'd broken every bit of my heart, and tap danced on the remains. I collapsed to my knees, holding my face in my hands. She'd broken _me_.

_Little toy soldier, bleeding red,_

_Little toy soldier, now you're dead._

Clary. She was so sweet, so carefree. So unlike Kaelie.

_Little toy soldier, heaven sent,_

_Little toy soldier, live again._

Clary was my chance to do it over, do it again, and get it right.

_Little toy soldier, you'll be strong,_

_Little toy soldier, keep marching on._

**I'm sorry, but I love that poem! It just fit so much with the story, too, so I put it in… hope it's not too depressing!**


	4. Road Trip Detour

**Okay, so this chapter is a bit more on the morbid side… there's a bit of everything, romance, jealousy, rape (not by Jace, thank god), fun, and even a bit of a mystery… Hope it doesn't scare you away too soon, the good part's just beginning :)**

4

CPOV

"Good job, guys!" Maia yelled from the center of the dance studio. "I _promise_ that the bunks will be open in just a week, okay?" I heard some groans. Hell, I was groaning. My brother's place was under construction because some apartment in the building had collapsed, so they were renovating. He was staying with one of his guy friends, and it would _really_ awkward if me, the dancer with all the tight clothing and lacy bras, stayed with them. So I was homeless for another week. I wouldn't ask Simon, his building already hated me because of this one time when we were both drunk and… we'll just end at they hate me. I went through a list of my friends. Elsie? No, got a boyfriend. Chantal? Lives with parents. Janet? Oh please. Janet was never free. She was always too busy to listen. So yeah. Clary Fairchild, dancer, homeless. Maybe if I wore those fishnet tights I never touched and stood on a street corner… wow. Get your mind out of the gutter, brain. Maia came up to me. "Clary, I know you're having trouble finding a place to stay, but you're more than welcome to…"

"I'll figure it out, Maia, don't worry about it." I smiled reassuringly. She sighed, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"You worry me, kid." I shrugged. She was about to walk away, but I stopped her with a question.

"What do you know about a Jace Wayland?" She stopped dead in her tracks. Whoa. That wasn't good. Her head turned back to me.

"Why?" She asked. I shook my head.

"Never mind, it's…" She turned back to face me.

"Stay away from him, Clarissa. He's trouble." I raised an eyebrow.

"What? _Jace_? He wouldn't hurt a fly…" She cut me off again.

"Clarissa, you haven't known him for as long as I have. _Stay away from him_." I was confused.

"He's too innocent to be any trouble, Maia…" She took me by the shoulders.

"Clary!" She yelled my own name at me, and I was silent. "Clary." She said it more softly this time, caring, like a mother. Too bad my own mother wasn't here. She'd know exactly what to do. "He hasn't always been this way. He used to be the heartbreaker of Brooklyn." She looked away. "He used to be so… careless." I crossed my arms.

"And how would you know this?" Maia's eyes met mine in a death gaze.

"Because I fell for it. And I don't want you to." I think my jaw hit the floor. _WHAT_? Maia and… Jace? Not possible! Maia is so serious and dark, and Jace is so… well, I don't know who Jace was when he was with Maia. Probably a different person altogether. Maia's dark hair fell over her broad dancer's shoulders, drawing away attention from her defined curves. I envied her body so much… she was so full, and I was so… well, for lack of a better word, disproportionate. I felt like a little china doll that somebody hacked up sometimes. Around Jace, I felt like a happy little hacked up china doll. Maia sighed. "Clary, please don't. He's trouble, and he always will be. Don't ever think otherwise." Maia touched my cheek, smiled at me, then left to talk to Greg about his drumming. Maia was so serious all the time. I touched my phone, which laid in the pocket of my coat. Daniel walked over to me, rubbing his shoulder. I just laughed.

"Maybe you should consider actually doing the warm ups, Danny." He shook his head, smiling.

"That would be giving in to the man," he replied. I couldn't help but giggle.

"And the man is Maia?" He thought about this for a second, then laughed with me.

"Could you pull my arm back?" He asked, turning around and giving me his arm. I took it and bent it across his back. I heard the crack of his joints, and then Danny suck in his breath. I stopped and his arm went back to place. I then rubbed the sore spot, his shoulder.

"Better?" I asked. He laughed.

"If you don't make it as a dancer, consider being a chiropractor," he said. I remembered that Jace would be waiting outside, waiting for me. I had asked him to so we could go on an actual first date. And then I heard the whole room fall silent. Maia and Jace were having a stare off.

"Maia," Jace finally broke the silence. "I haven't seen you in a while, how have you been?" Maia laughed at his words.

"Screw you," she said, crossing her arms and turning. He lightly smiled, almost sarcastically.

"You already did." This made the whole room say 'oh!' and Maia turn red. She turned her head back to Jace.

"Son of a bitch," she said, shaking her head. "You really don't know how to stop." He shrugged.

"Things changed. I've changed." She laughed.

"Don't give me that crap." She then walked up to him, anger in every step. Her finger was an inch away from his nose, looking as if it was a weapon. "You hurt Clary even the _slightest_ bit and I will personally castrate you, Jace. Get it?" He caught her hand, and she was so surprised. He leaned down, meeting her angry glare.

"Now why would I do that?" God, they were going to kill each other. I ran in between them and split them up, my back pressed against Jace's chest and my feet on Maia's stomach, trying to keep them from killing each other. The other dancers lightly laughed at this; a redhead sandwiched between a tan woman who was reaching for the golden boy's neck. I tugged Jace as I ran out of the studio.

"See you tomorrow, Maia!" I yelled as I ran with my bag and coat. I was still wearing my black tank leotard and sweatpants that said 'Pink' on the butt, but I'd get to change later. Jace half smiled at me.

"Hi, Clary." I shook my head.

"Idiot, are you trying to get killed?" I asked him seriously. He smiled a little more.

"Maia? She wouldn't hurt me."

"Ha!" I said sarcastically, and loudly. "She'd cut off your head and place it above her fireplace!" He laughed. "And you're laughing." He shook his head, still laughing.

"I'm not laughing at you. You actually think Maia would hurt me." I did a total face-palm.

"That's what I've been _saying_." I sat in the passenger seat of his car, not looking at him. He shook his head, still smiling. I didn't get it. Instead, I crossed my arms. "What aren't you saying?" I asked. He sighed, looking me straight in the eyes. Whoa. I never noticed how liquid his eyes were… little flecks of gold, moving in the sun-golden background of his eyes, the black pupil almost disappearing completely in the hypnotic affect he had on me.

"How about we forget about Maia for today? I'll tell you some other time. Today is just about me and you. How about that?" I nodded like an idiot, still hypnotized by his beauty. He was just so above average, yet he seemed to think himself below.

JPOV

Nobody told me Maia would be there. _Nobody_ told me. Magnus tried to push me to ask Clary out on a normal date. And so I did. And today was just us. No distractions. Clary smiled at me and nodded at my question. Her hair was in thick waves at that moment, and beautifully lain, even though she hadn't brushed it. Eyes like emeralds shone on each side of her tiny but strong nose. She had few freckles, enough to make her look like the Irish girl she was. She looked inhuman… almost angelic… like a sort of beautiful outsider, stuck here on earth, desperately reaching back to the heavens, where she came from… Maybe I _should_ lay off the Shakespeare.

"Where are we going?" She asked me, still holding me in a gaze.

"How about a movie?" I questioned back. She smiled just a little.

"Haven't been to one of those in ages. That'd be nice." So I drove.

_Two hours later…_

"Where the hell are we?" Clary asked, finally looking at the road. We were in the middle of nowhere. I didn't know where we were. I stopped the car.

"I have no idea. Maybe I forgot a turn." She was hyperventilating now.

"Forgot… a… turn…?" She was gripping the arm rests as though they were her life. I smiled.

"It's nothing a few directions won't fix," I told her. She glared at me.

"We're lost! We're going to die! We're going to be found in the middle of the road with vultures picking at our bodies! Jace, do something!" She was so hyper I thought she might have a heart attack.

"Clary," I said, "chill out. We'll find a way back." She gripped my arm. "Ow, ow, ow," I said, my voice very airy and hissing. She had a monster grip.

"You sure?" She asked, her eyes just a little red.

"Positive," I said through my teeth, trying to ignore the 21-year-old redhead's grip. She let go of my arm, getting out of the car and almost tripping onto the road. She was pacing. This made me laugh. "Why are you so nervous?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"N-nothing. Just a me thing, I guess." I had a feeling she was hiding something from me, but I didn't care. I just had to make sure she was okay for now. And then find a way back. Maybe if we just followed the road…

"Clary…" I said, my voice trailing off as I got out of the car and stopped her pacing. "What's wrong?" She broke my grip on her and kept pacing. I picked her up by the torso and put her on the trunk of the car. She crossed her arms, but somehow wasn't mad at me. She looked a bit scared.

"Well…" she said. And then she went on into a full explanation. "When I was a fifteen year old, my mom took me for a road trip. Our car broke down and we hitch hiked with a guy who was nice enough to give us a ride. When my mom was sleeping in the motel we were staying in, at about midnight, I decided to do a little investigating on the guy driving us around. I snuck into his car and looked at the driver's license, car registration, all that stuff. And then he found me. Instead of yelling at me or something like that, he just locked the doors and drove. I didn't ask where we were going, but I had a bad feeling. I could almost see the sun at that point. And then, when the car stopped, we were in the middle of the road, _just like this_, and he looked over at me, and he… he…" She was hysterically sobbing now. What? Why hadn't anyone known this? She cried into her palms, not paying attention to me. "I've never told anyone that," she said, her sobs dying down lightly. She had red eyes, and her nose was looking pinker. "I didn't want to. I was afraid. And when we got back, he just let me go and left me and my mom. The mechanic for our car showed up a few hours later. My mom always said that trip changed me, but she never knew why." She looked at me pleadingly. "Don't tell anyone," she said, her voice barely a whisper. I shook my head, pulling her into a hug.

"I swear on it." She was back to crying, but now it was a little bit more quietly and at a normal pace. "Why didn't you tell anyone?" Her arms wound around me, I had a feeling she was trying to feel safe.

"I was scared, Jace. I was a kid. I was scared and ashamed and horrified." She met my gaze. "If I told my dad, he'd disown me. He was one of those men who believed that everything was a woman's fault." I sighed.

"You should have told someone." And then I got an idea. "You still can." She shook her head.

"No! I buried my past deep, and far, _far_, away. I'm not digging it up again." I couldn't stand the fact that she had been hurt and I could do nothing about it. I'd do something to help her. I promised myself that.

**So read and review please, and thanks to all the people who wrote reviews for me, they were really helpful and supportful!**


	5. Familiar Faces

5

**Sorry it took me so long to write again, Christmas and finals and a whole bunch of other stuff, including making my school's first debate team (WE DID IT!) stopped me from writing, but I hope I haven't lost any fans!**

CPOV

Finally. A normal date. We were dancing. Okay, maybe not _that_ normal. Jace was a surprisingly good dancer. We were just at Pandemonium, where Jon worked, dancing like a normal couple. He'd learned a lot about my past on our 'first' date, and we'd had a few dates after that. Jace was amazing, so down to earth and funny, and very sarcastic and arrogant as well, but what boy isn't? The song playing was LoveGame by Lady Gaga.

"You're a good dancer!" I yelled over the music. He smiled.

"No," he said, "I've got two left feet!" He put his hands on my waist and managed to dance with me. I felt like a 17 year old again, so carefree and joyful, nothing hurting me, oblivious to the whole world…

"Clary." I didn't even have to turn around to know who's voice it was. I could almost see a smile playing at the corners of his lips. I froze. Jace looked down at me curiously when I stopped, looking behind me to the man who called my name. "What a nice surprise," he said. I turned myself around and was met with midnight black eyes.

"Sebastian," I managed to get out. "Hi." He lightly laughed.

"I see your monosyllable greetings haven't changed." I was really scared. What was he going to do to me?

"I don't think we've met," Jace said, putting an arm protectively around my waist and pressing me to him. He sensed my fear. "I'm Jace, Clary's boyfriend." Idiot, why'd you say that! Sebastian's smile slightly faded, but reappeared.

"I'm Sebastian, Clary's friend. Nice to meet you Jace." And just like that, they shook hands. Sebastian's eyes were on mine as he shook Jace's hand, travelling down my neck to my little dress. In the strobe lights, Jace wouldn't have seen that. But I did. His gaze was almost hurting me.

"Bye, Sebastian," I said shakily, dragging Jace away. A cold hand caught my other wrist.

"Hold on a second, Clary," Sebastian said. Jace gave me a protective, confused look. I smiled.

"Go to the bar and tell Jon I'll be there in a second. Tell him to dial two in ten minutes if I'm not back." Jace nodded slowly, reluctant to leave me. If Jon dialed two, he'd get the police. It was my and Jon's secret way of letting each other know we might be in trouble. I turned back to Sebastian, who was dangerously close to me. "What is it?" I asked, my voice still shaky. He smiled a little.

"I wanted to see you, is it a crime?" He asked. I was close to tears. He hadn't taken his hand off my wrist. I yanked my wrist back, rubbing it with my other hand to try and forget he'd touched me.

"I don't know what game you're playing this time, but…" Sebastian frowned and my words were drowned away.

"I'm playing a different game, Clare." I shuddered when he said that. I hated that name, just because he'd given it to me.

"Please don't call me that," I said in a whimper. He smiled a little more.

"What, Clare?" He asked. I winced. "I still love you, and I'm not letting anyone get in the way of that," he said firmly. "Trust me, Jace will be over you in a week." He smiled when he said 'over', looking up. Oh god. Was he thinking what I thought he was thinking?

"Don't touch Jace," I said softly. He smiled a little more, pulling me closer to him.

"You'll just have to trust me on that one, Kitten." I tried to push him away, but his hold on me was too hard. It'd only been five minutes. I looked up at Sebastian, feeling all the hatred I'd felt for years finally use itself.

"Listen, Sebastian," I said angrily. This surprised him. "You'll leave me alone. You'll leave _Jace_ alone. You'll get out of my life. Alright?" I threw his hands off me, turning and walking, leaving a surprised Sebastian in my wake.

"You didn't say Jonathan, did you?" He asked. I frantically looked around the bar. I couldn't see Jon. I turned around, extremely close to tears.

"Where's Jon?" I asked him in anger. His grin reappeared.

"Come with me and you'll find out, Clare," he said slowly. I looked back at Jace, who was talking to that woman I'd talked to at the art auction, the short one with black hair. I looked back at Sebastian, who held a hand out.

"Fine," I said, my voice shaking again. I took out my phone and texted Jace.

_Sry, had 2 leave… emergency._

JPOV

My phone started to ring. I picked it up.

_Sry, had 2 leave… emergency._

Clary was gone? Aline looked at my phone.

"Did I just ruin something?" She asked with a guilty look.

"No," I assured her, "not at all. I think her friend, Sebastian, did." Jon, who'd been in storage, dropped the bottle he was holding.

"Did you just say _Sebastian_?" He asked me in complete seriousness. I nodded.

"Yeah, he wanted to talk to her," I told him. Jon looked around ready to rip someone's head off.

"Sebastian is bad news, Jace," Jon said, jumping over the counter and throwing his apron back.

"Hey!" A girl behind the bar yelled at him. "Where do you think you're going?" Jon shot her back a look.

"Kaelie, Clary's on the line, cover my shift!" He yelled, taking my arm and running. Wait, did he say _Kaelie_? She jumped over the counter and stopped him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," she said, putting her arms out. "Did you say Clary was in trouble?" Jon nodded. Her black hair was in her eyes. "I'm coming. You can't expect me not to care about the kid. She's like my little sister." Jon kind of smiled.

"Then hurry up, we're leaving." She raised an eyebrow.

"We?" Then her eyes shifted to me. And they widened. "Oh. Hi, Jace." I raised my eyebrows.

"Kaelie." Jon looked from me to her back to me.

"You two know each other?"Jon asked. Before either of us could say a thing, he sighed. "Whatever, let's go!" And he dragged us off to his car, shoving me and Kaelie in the back, then driving.

You can say the car drive was pretty awkward.

"So," Kaelie started.

"Silence was fine," I replied, looking down at the short, black haired girl. She frowned.

"Silence isn't fine," she said, crossing her arms. "Why _are_ you here, by the way?"

"Clary and I are, um, dating." Why is it so hard to talk to exes? It's almost impossible without wanting to rip their face apart. She got wide eyed.

"Oh. _Oh_." She looked back at the road. "So how's life?"

"Normal, teaching kids who don't appreciate it," I replied. She smiled lightly. "How about you?" I asked.

"The usual, have to wait a week till the studio dorms open again. Clary goes to the studio, too, right?" She asked. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah," was all I could answer. It was still weird talking to Kaelie after all this time.

"Where the hell would she be?" Jon asked us.

"My guess is the studio," Kaelie said.

"But if she went with Sebastian, she wouldn't be at the studio," I said.

"You're right," Jon said, "she'd be at Sebastian's house." And he drove faster.

**Ooh, Sebastian's in trouble! What'll happen to Clary? What about Jace and Kaelie? Review and tell me what you think should happen next!**


	6. Now You See Me

5

**I AM SOOOOO SORRY! I've been so busy! I got cast in the school musical a few months back, and we had late rehearsals and all that, then I got a summer job modeling, and now I'm just busy as heck! I've been trying to write this for the past four months! Well, it's finally done, thank god, but it's just a bit shorter than the rest… sorry, hope you enjoy it **

CPOV

Sebastian's house hadn't changed much since the last time I'd been here. It was still all black and white, like him, no grey, no changes, nothing exciting. The only difference was that last time I'd been here, I'd been in his bedroom, not his living room. Of course, that was almost a year ago. I'd been dating Jace for a few months, maybe four or five. He smiled lightly at me.

"How've you been?" He asked sweetly. I frowned.

"We both know that's not what you want to ask," I said angrily. "Now try again." He smirked.

"Still a straight shooter, I see." I sat down slowly.

"Only this time," I replied, "I know how to use virtually anything as a weapon." He didn't seem pleased with that fact, his beautiful smile fading.

"I don't want to hurt you, Kitten," he said, moving a little closer to me. I didn't even flinch. He wasn't going to hurt me, I knew that much, but I didn't know what he wanted from me, either. "You remember how I used work as a detective for the NYPD, right?" He asked. I nodded, confused at how that applied here. "You're a suspect in a pretty odd case." My eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked him. He shook his head sadly.

"I don't believe it, Clare," he said, sitting down next to me. I saw only concern in his hypnotic black eyes now. "Do you know a man by the name of Valentine Morgenstern?" He asked me. I must have lost all color since his expression changed. "So you do."

"It's not what you think, Sebastian," I quickly told him.

"He had a picture of you, as well as your name written down. There was a file about you, too." He looked a bit sad. "He had other files, lots of files. Every other girl in those files is either dead or refuses to talk. You're my last hope, otherwise we have to throw the case. Tell me how you know him." I leaned back into the couch.

"You know, when you said you wanted me to come with you, this wasn't what I expected," I said with a nervous laugh. He cracked a small smile.

"I asked to take on this case specially because you were involved Clare. I'll always love you," he told me without a bit of hesitation.

"That doesn't change anything you did, Sebastian," I whispered. He nodded.

"I know," he said. "I just want to prove you have nothing to do with this." I nervously laughed again.

"That's not exactly true," I said softly. He gave me that look that said 'explain'. "When my dad, Luke, and Jon were away one week, when I was 15, my mom, Jocelyn, and I went on a road trip. Our car broke down, and this man offered us a ride. Of course we took it rather than being stuck on the road. I wanted to find out who he was, so I snuck into his car while everyone was asleep and checked out his ID and license and stuff like that." I hesitated before going on. "His name was Valentine Morgenstern. I'll never forget the name of that man, as long as I live."

"Why?" Sebastian asked, taking out a notepad and pencil. I could feel hot tears forming, threatening to spill.

"Because he raped me," I whispered almost inaudibly. Sebastian dropped the notepad.

"_What_?" He practically screamed. Cue the waterworks.

I was crying for god knows how long while he tried to get me to stop, saying comforting things and threatening to kill Valentine.

"Clare, come on, don't cry, you know I hate it," Sebastian pleaded. That just made me cry even harder. Cue random people.

"Sebastian Verlac!" I heard Jon yell as he walked in holding that bat he always kept in the back of his car. Jace looked really pissed off, and one of Jon's friends, a bartender named Kaelie, looked angrier than Jase. She took me in her arms as I cried.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" She asked in a comforting voice.

"He didn't do a thing to me," I said as I stopped the tears. "He's just investigating a case, and I happen to be a suspect." This got everyone to freeze and stare at me oddly.

"What?" Jon asked in horror.

"I'd like to talk to Clary _alone_, Mr. Fairchild," Sebastian said coldly. Jon looked about ready to use that bat.

"It's alright, Jon," I said with a weak smile. I looked back at Sebastian. "I'll drop by the station tomorrow at about 3. How's that sound?"

"Alright," he said, returning a sweet smile. I would never forgive him for what he did, but maybe we could just be… friends. It was good to see him alright again.

I started out the door, walking down the sidewalk. I was met with golden eyes.

"What's wrong?" He asked knowingly. He still wore his glasses, he always did when he was worried, reading or writing away to stop thinking about worrying. I couldn't help but smile.

"Nothing's wrong, Jace," I said softly. "I'm perfectly fine. Would you walk with me?" He nodded, taking my hand and walking with me. I noticed Kaelie making an odd expression as she saw us. I'd have to ask her about it later.

"You're sure your fine?" Jace asked, genuinely concerned about me. I went up on my toes and kissed him sweetly, only for a moment.

"Thanks for caring, I'm fine," I whispered. He smiled lightly.

"Good." I heard Jon yell something about Jace hauling my ass back into the car before I ran off and joined a prostitution ring.

"Screw you, Jon!" I yelled back, taking Jace's arm. "Wanna walk?" I asked him. He was chuckling.

"You never cease to amaze me," he said, looking at me, then at the starlit sky. "And I've got a surprise of my own."

"And what would that be?" I asked curiously.

"Clary, what would you say if I asked you something completely serious?" He asked me. I could feel myself losing color fast. What was he getting at? I mean, my dad had proposed to my mom a few weeks after they met because he knew she was the one.

"I… don't know," I told him. "Ask me anyways."

He hesitated for a moment, stopping in front of the fountain my mom used to take me to as a kid in the park. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god!

"I know it's kind of soon, and we've only been going out a few months and all, but I think I finally got it right this time," he said, almost sadly. He was going to ask. Oh Jesus, I didn't think it was going to be this hard! He started to get down on one knee. That's when I broke and my silence erupted.

"Stop!" I yelled, pacing up and down the sidewalk. "I can't, not now, not ever, not to you, not to anyone else!" He was surprised, but kept on his knee.

"You don't even kn…"

"I'm a dancer, not stupid!" I blew up again. It took me a moment to calm down. With a sigh, I started again. "Jace, there's so much you don't know about me, thinks that'll change your mind about me completely." He shook his head defiantly.

"I love you, Clary, that's all I know, and my mind won't change," he told me, his voice strong. I knew I couldn't dissuade him… yet.

"Walk me back to the studio," I told him. "Come with me, and I'll explain everything."

JPOV

The tiny redhead was trying to talk, but fumbling.

"Well, you see I… I mean I… I don't… but I'm not…"

"Clary," I said with a sigh, "what's bothering you?"

"There's so many things that bother me, Jace," she whispered as we walked, not looking at me. "I'm mentally unstable, I'm physically unstable, hell, I'm probably virtually unstable, too."

"How?" I asked, knowing I was crossing a dangerous line by doing so. She sighed, ready to tell me.

"Remember how I told you about that road trip I took with my mom?" She asked. I flinched, but nodded. "When he… _raped_ me," she said, her voice lessening at that word, "he hurt me a lot. I don't think you fully understand my situation. I'll never be the same. I dance because it allows me to heal, lets me see myself in a new view. Simon is one of the only people to ever help me. He's one of the few people I trust. You are, too, but you haven't heard this yet." She swallowed before going on, seeming nervous. "My mind is a jumble, Jace. I try to get out of relationships as fast as I get in to avoid getting hurt. I hide behind a partying, carefree image when really, I'm a freak."

"That only explains the mentally part," I said solemnly. She smiled lightly.

"It's not very good," she warned me. "You ready?" I nodded, listening with a sorrowful eagerness. "I can't have children." I wasn't that surprised. I'd heard about it before, rape victims being so hurt that they can't produce children anymore. Still, I was a bit shocked. "Well, there's a very slim chance I can have kids, so slim that doctors have all told me the same thing; it's not going to happen. Marry someone who can be perfect for you, who can give you everything you want, Jace. Don't settle for damaged goods." She kept walking while I stopped, dumbstruck. Did she really think I was giving up that easily.

I ran in front of her, holding her tightly by the arms and shaking her.

"Are you insane?" I asked her. She was too surprised to speak, her red curls bouncing. "I love you just the way you are, Clary, and nothing's going to change that."

"But I can't…"

"We'll adopt," I quickly cut her off. "There's always a sad child who would be so much better off with parents who love them." She seemed genuinely surprised, but angry.

"What don't you get about I can't do that to you?" She screamed at me, pulling away and walking faster, cutting through the park. I pulled her back by the hand, wrapping my other arm around her waist. I heard music from the park, probably one of the late night bands who played for the adults. She looked hurt, her eyes suddenly full of sorrow and confusion. "I can't do to you what I did to Simon." Now I was confused.

"What did you…"

"Final point is that you did nothing to deserve something broken," she finished. I shook my head, laughing.

"Just shut up and dance with me," I whispered, spinning her and pulling her close to me. Her emerald eyes were wide in surprise. "I don't care how damaged and broken you are, I love you."

"That's not the end of it, Jace," she told me softly. "There's so much more wrong with me, so much you don't know…" her voice trailed off.

"I don't want to know because you're trying to convince me not to love you, Clary," I said, smiling lightly. "Tell me when you really think you want to, when _you're_ ready to."

"Why the hell do you have to be so understanding?" She asked, as if cursing to god.

"Clary, nothing you say or do is going to change my mind." Nothing would, I knew that. She was finally the right one, and I wasn't letting her go without a fight. "Marry me." She was shocked, taken completely by surprise. She thought I would hold it off today. "I'm not going to change my mind, so why not say yes?"

"Because you don't know what you're getting into," she answered, as if it was well rehearsed.

CPOV

I didn't want to do to him what I did to Simon. He'd done the same thing Jace had, fallen in love with me and tried to make me happy. And in the end? I couldn't do the same thing. He'd settled for being my best friend, telling me it was better to be around me than forget me. Finally, he was bonding with a girl he met a little while bad, I think her name was Isabelle. She'd be better for him than I would. And Jace, he would have been much safer with that girl he'd been going out with… Kaelie, did Simon say her name was?

Wait a minute. Kaelie as in Kaelie Summers, the girl who worked at Jon's bar? Suddenly it was all patching together in my brain. Why hadn't I thought about it before?

"Jace, I'll hurt you more than anybody ever has," I plainly laid out. I knew I would. I always did.

"I don't care if you're going to die tomorrow, Clary, I want to spend whatever time I have left with you, and I know that's not going to change."

"I'm not thinking straight, this isn't fair," I told him, a small smile playing at my lips.

"Clary…" he gave me a look. He knew I exactly what I was doing and how I was doing it. "Just give me a fair answer. I don't care if it's yes or no, I just want an answer." I looked at him, trying my best to seem angry.

"No," I said sharply, pulling myself out of his arms and walking away, feeling like I was going to cry. The loss of his warmth on my skin was almost saddening, but I reminded myself that he'd be better off without me. I heard him calling after me.

"Clary! _Clary_!" But I kept walking, faster and faster until I was nearly sprinting to the studio.

He was better off without me destroying his heart again.

He was better off without me in his life.

He was better off without me ruining his life.

He was better off without me making him think I was the right girl.

He was better off without me _period_.

And after tonight, I was going to do everything in my power to never see Jace Wayland ever again.

**Jace: Why am I so caring? I'd rather be a psychopath!**

**Clary: And why was I raped as a kid?**

**Sebastian: I'm not **_**that**_** bad… At least not in a stalker-ish way.**

**Aline: What's with me and pandas? I don't like pandas, I like strip malls, strip clubs, strip study…**

**Sebastian: Remind me to study with you more often *winks*.**

**Me: Wait, isn't she your cousin? Awkward…**

**Jon: At least you were right about one person. Nobody's laying a fucking finger on Clary.**

**Clary: Geez, Jon, you sound like Jace.**

**Jace: No, apparently I'm a pansy now. Of course, if you like it rough...**

**Me: Again, awkward…**


	7. Bollywood Mystery

7

**I got to a computer and did it! YESSSSS! I officially love you guys for waiting. All you readers, you're the best ever :D Enjoy the latest installment!**

CPOV

It was morning. I woke up at the studio, still in the dress I was wearing yesterday.

_You know, when Jace proposed to you?_

"Shut the hell up," I growled at the voice in my head. I quickly changed out of it to go to my new dance class; one I was teaching. It was for beginner girls. Somebody had to do it, and I loved teaching girls. Of course, anybody could join up, but guys tended to join a little later in life. I mean, it's dance. If they do it when they're kids, people will call them gay, but when they're out of high school, then nobody cares.

I got to class, and along with all the little girls sitting on the bench, there was a certain blonde haired, golden eyed man, waiting.

"Alright class, off your butts!" I yelled, getting their attention. I ignored Jace as he caught up to me stretching on the bar.

"Clary, at least talk to me," he begged, coming a little closer. I put my other leg up on the bar, as if to block him out, and reached to my toe.

"I have a class to teach, Jace," I sharply replied. He looked at me cynically, holding a piece of paper up. It was registry into my class. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You _have_ to talk to me now, _Ms. Clary_," he said mockingly. I shook my head with another laugh.

"You're going to have to go the whole deal if you're in my class," I informed him, chasseing over to the costume closet. I opened it and threw him a pair of black tights and a tight white shirt. He caught them with one hand, giving me a kind of frightened look.

I was going to enjoy this.

It was kind of hilarious watching a class of little girls spin with their hands above their heads along with a grown man, who looked like he was walking the death march.

"Clary, I've been searching for so long for that woman who completes me, I finally found her, and she runs away when I ask her to marry me," Jace said when I made them plie over and over again. "Could you at least explain to me why? Don't you owe me that much?" I thought for a moment. Would little girls understand the meaning of rape?

"I can't have kids, I'm afraid of almost everything, and under all my disguises, I'm a boring girl who loved manga and anime and fell in love with Inuyasha before the TV show," I told him after a moment's thought. Jace smiled lightly.

"Anime and manga? Are you kidding me? And isn't Kagome every teenage guy's wet dream?" he countered, making me stifle a laugh. "I don't care that you can't have children, Clary. _I'm_ an orphan. I know what every kid in that orphanage feels like, like they're not worth enough to their parents for them to be kept. I got the easy way out, the Lightwoods adopted me when I was six, and we can do the same thing." I just stopped moving, looking at this beautiful man who was willing to give up that perfect image of a woman for this half-person with a broken soul and a battered body. All I could do was look at him. "Clary, are you alri…" he didn't get to finish that. I attacked him in a hug, straddling him while he got over the initial shock, which had all the little girls going 'ooh!'.

"Jace Wayland, I love you, I love you, I love you," I kept repeating, hoping it was never under question. He could have any woman in the entire world and he would settle for someone who was incomplete, that said a lot about him, and a lot about me.

"Whoa, what's with the…" he didn't get to finish that, either. I kissed him fiercely, trying to keep it PG but struggling. He was one of the first guys I'd dated who I've never had sex with, and that was huge to me. Every little girl in the room was giggling now, probably watching me turn bright red and giggling even more.

"Clary!" I heard someone yell. Jace and I turned our heads at the same time to see Kaelie, who looked quite shocked. I quickly got off of Jace and went back to the front of the class. "Um, Jon told me to tell you he's not picking you up today."

"That's okay, I have a ride," I told her with a smile.

"Alright then," she awkwardly said, leaving. I shushed the little girls, which made them giggle even more.

"How about adagio now, girls?" I asked, making them cheer. Oh, the minds of young girls, so easily molded. I gave a look to Jace, as if apologizing. He just smiled back at me brilliantly.

I love you, Jace Wayland, I love you.

JPOV

"So what do you want to do today?" I asked her. I'd waited until her class (which I was thankfully no longer a part of, though she got the pleasure of watching me dance awkwardly) and her rehearsal for the Bollywood number her team was doing. She still wore her traditional Indian dance costume with all the jewelry and clothing, looking beautiful as always in the bright forest green two-piece dress, with a cut-off top and a pant/skirt thing that I couldn't really decide which one it was. Both the pieces were heavily beaded and sequined, along with her shawl, which was attached to her hair, and the huge circular fake nose ring was kind of distracting, but not very. She was talking to me again, which was great.

"I'd love to go… oh, I've got to get to the police station!" she practically yelled, running back to the car at full speed. I got in and turned the keys, making the car light up. She seemed eager. I remembered how angry Jon had been when I mentioned Sebastian's name. Why was he so pissed off? What did Sebastian do to Clary.

"What happened with Sebastian?" I asked her as I drove to the station. I knew where it was, it was only a couple of blocks from the school. She stiffened.

"Well, we dated for a while," she said, then stopped. "Actually, we were basically screwing-friends. Sex wherever, whenever, and we both liked it for a while, until he said he wanted more than that. I didn't understand, so I told him that we should take a break from… whatever we were. And that's when the following started, and the constant calls, and then finally the hurt." I opened my mouth to say something, but she cut me off with, "Jace, I really don't want to talk about this. Can I not?"

"I was just going to say you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," I slowly told her, making her smile lightly. God, I loved it when she smiled, her perfect lips moving with her every word, making me want her that much more. But she'd do everything when she was ready to, marry me, sleep with me, do whatever. I was in no hurry for any of it, I had no intention of losing her, even for a moment. I didn't want to push her, she was hurt. Besides, being around her was prize enough.

We drove in silence, but it wasn't an awkward one. It was more the kind of silence you have when you know there's nothing to say, but you still continue to talk with your eyes occasionally. When we got to the station, she got out quickly, not bothering to put on her shoes (they danced without shoes for this number, since it was a traditional dance). I went after parking, going inside and finding her at someone's desk, nobody was sitting at it. She was waiting for him.

"Sebastian," she called, and a guy stuck his head out the door that said 'Copy Room/Evidence Storage'. He was the same guy whose house Clary had been at. The way he was looking at Clary, as if she was something to play with, a shiny toy, was bothering me, but I didn't say a word. She wanted to help him, it was her life and her choice.

"Hey, Clare," he said, coming back to his desk and sitting. "You can sit down, and so can you, Mr…" he looked at me.

"Wayland," I said, "Jace Wayland."

"Wayland, alright," he replied with a smile. His gaze shifted back to Clary. "You look…"

"Indian?" she asked. "Dance, don't ask." He laughed lightly. How could she reconnect to someone who hurt her so easily? I wish Kaelie and I could do the same, because I had a feeling she hated my guts.

"Alright, so I need your statement," Sebastian told Clary. She nodded, thinking for a moment.

"Wait, you basically want me to say Valentine Morgenstern… hurt me, right?" she asked, wincing when she said his name. Sebastian nodded slowly.

"If you could use the word 'rape', it might be a little more powerful, though," he said. Didn't he understand she didn't want to talk about it, that it hurt her to even think about it?

"Okay, so then how about 'Valentine Morgenstern raped me'?" she sarcastically asked, covering up the apparent tears in her demeanor. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, that's great," he said, writing it down. "Now the interview portion, then you're done and it'll wait until court."

"Okay," she said uneasily.

"What exactly happened?" he asked.

And I sat there silently, watching her rip herself apart for someone who had no right to ask her to.

CPOV

We drove back to the school, Jace told me he had a few papers to pick up. Of course, somebody had to spot me in that huge glittery mess called dance costuming.

"That's such a pretty costume!" a lady holding a panda handbag said. "You must be the infamous Clary, Jace never shuts up about you." I couldn't help but blush at the compliment.

"Really?" I asked, unsure. She smiled sweetly.

"I've known him for years, I'd know if he was in love," Aline said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Trust me, he's in love." Somebody snuck up behind Aline, putting his arms around her waist and making her scream. She then started laughing.

"Raphael, if you don't stop doing that I'm going to throw something at you next time!" she yelled at him, making him laugh now. He kissed her cheek and smiled.

"You're forgetting you have no hand-eye coordination," he told her, making her smack him.

"I still have hands," she shot back. "Oh, Clary, this is Raphael, my boyfriend and Jace's friend."

"Jace isn't my friend," Raphael said with a bit of sarcasm, "he's more my loathed acquaintance."

"You're a dancer, right?" Aline asked. I nodded slowly. "Well, our school is doing a week on dance, and I know Mr. Stewart would love to have someone with experience teaching the course, since out gym teacher is a football coach, not exactly Tinkerbell on his feet." I laughed at the analogy.

"I'd love to," I told her. Jace came back with his pageboy bag, holding a few papers in a folder in his hand and putting his other arm around me.

"Hey, Al," he said cheerily. Then, with less cheer, he added, "Raphael."

"Jace," Raphael addressed him back. Both me and Aline rolled our eyes. Simon came out of the building, and upon spotting the four of us, joined us.

"Dance?" he asked when he saw my outfit. I nodded with a sigh.

"Trust Maia to dress me like an Asian whore," I said, referring to every showy part of the outfit. And all of us laughed.

Everything felt as normal as it could be, so nice, pleasant almost. Of course, ever since Jace had come into my life, everything had been pleasant and happy. I wonder what would happen when he found out just how scarred I really was.

TPPOV (Third Person's)

The man walked into the dark room where he knew the white haired man would be. He was silent and quick, moving with lightning speed to get there quickly.

"Late," a voice rung out powerfully. "You're late by three minutes."

"Three minutes," the man said, "it's like saying a house is off by three inches."

"That house will fall," the white haired man said. "I don't plan to let this fall, too. Be on time."

"Alright, Valentine," the man replied, annoyed.

"Did you say what I told you to say?" he asked. The man nodded. "And how is my dear Clary?"

"She's great, can we speed this up? I have to be with her soon," the man said.

"Of course," Valentine smiled wickedly. He had a scar from under his right eye to his chin, a scar that little redheaded girl had given him, and one he would never forget.

"What should I say to her?" the man asked.

"Whatever you please," Valentine told him, walking away. "Just make sure she trusts you."

"Oh," the man smiled lightly, "she does, trust me."

"The problem is, I don't." And with that, Valentine and the man were both gone, and the dark room was just a room again.

**Clary: Wait, so above all of this drama there's ANOTHER guy?**

**Me: No, it's someone you already know.**

**Clary: So one of the guys I know is lying to me? What?**

**Jace: It sure as hell isn't me.**

**Simon: What motive would I have? Well, there is the fact that you apparently turned me down when I asked you to marry me!**

**Clary: Sorry, **_**she**_** wrote it, not me!**

**Me: Oh, right. Sorry Simon!**

**Jon: I'm your brother, it's not me.**

**Raphael: I barely know you!**

**Sebastian: It's probably me, since she **_**loves**_** making me the villain in this story.**

**Aline: I think it might be me.**

**Everybody: WTF?**

**Jace: Aline, you're a girl. It's obviously a guy.**

**Aline: Or a girl in heavy disguise!**

**Me: *sigh* I swear, these characters have minds of their own. Stay tuned for more 'Dancing Into My Heart!'**


	8. I Plead The Fifth

**Thanks for all the comments, you guys make writing this stuff worth it.. It's no problem to write on vacation, I actually look forward to the time away from my family (tiny car, big opinions… not fun), it's only finding internet that's the problem! Well, I hope you guys like this, so I'm just going to shut up and let you read **** Song they're listening to in the beginning is Black Cards 'Club Called Heaven'**

8

CPOV

"Daniel?" I called, looking around the dance studio. "DANIEL!" He wasn't responding. "Get your lazy ass down here before I come up there and slap you silly! You're my partner, I can't dance alone!" He groggily got down the stairs of the studio apartments, looking down at me angrily.

"I'm here, god," he groaned, sitting down at the huge round table all the dancers ate at. Most everybody was sitting at the table now. I went back to whipping up quick pancakes and dancing around the kitchen to the music. It was my turn to cook today, and Lucas was my cooking partner.

_See myself in a long black car, with the windows up heads down,_

_And the cops in front of me with high beams holier than thou,_

_They say that this life is just a lease from god,_

_Yeah, I'll start the party if the gates come off…_

"Flour!" he called, and I threw the closed bag through the air, knowing he'd catch. "Eggs!" I juggled them out of my hands and into his, and he cracked them into the pan, scrambling them as they swished in the pan.

Our studio was one of the most fun places to be. We were right next to a kindergarten, so occasionally, they'd join in on the dancing.

_And we're dancing! And we're dancing around…_

_And we're dancing! And we're dancing around…_

_In a club called heaven, halos tripping out,_

_And we're dancing! In a club called heaven!_

_Never going down!_

I spun around, putting out plates for everybody while Janet did forks, Elsie did spoons, and Daniel did knifes. Daniel was juggling the knifes, then he pretended to swallow one, making Maia gasp sharply, but he just laughed at her expression.

"Shake that booty!" I heard somebody call, and everybody in the entire room was dancing, getting food, cooking, helping out in some way, while Maia just stood in the corner and watched us with a smile. Then the song changed. Something by Taylor Swift which had everybody booing.

"Bring back the beat!" Lucas yelled, and everybody cheered. I changed the song, and it was at 'Inside Out' by Britney Spears. Now, literally everyone in the room, Maia included, was doing some form or the other of the robot, pausing when the beat stopped, starting when the beat started, and totally in tune with the music. Everybody but Kaelie, who just walked into the room looking at us like we were crazy. And then, within seconds, she joined us. The stereo stopped working, and we felt boring again.

"Great," Maia rolled her eyes with a laugh. "Now everybody eat!" And everybody listened.

"You hit me once, I hit you back, you gave a kick, I gave a slap, you smashed a plate over my head, then I set fire to our bed," I started, knowing everybody would start singing. People started playing spoons and forks on their plates while me and Elsie sang 'Kiss With A Fist' by Florence and the Machine. And then Sebastian walked in. Kaelie spun once, taking his hand and dragging him into the dance with the rest of the dancers while Elsie and I were pushed onto the center of the huge table, singing into olive oil bottles. This was my real family.

Well, minus Sebastian.

"Um, Clary?" he asked, looking up at me. I stopped singing, letting the crowd take over.

"What's up?" I asked, coming to the edge of the table. He looked kind of out of place in the crowd of dancers who were all doing intricate, complicated moves.

"We found him," Sebastian said. My entire world just froze.

I was going to have to see him once more?

"Don't freak out or anything, we're keeping him under strict supervision and trying to do everything we can to make sure he doesn't meet you again, but Detective Herondale doesn't seem to understand that," he told me. I knew Dt. Herondale. Imogen, I think. She had a heart of ice, and an even colder personality.

"I want to drop out," I yelled over the singing and movement sounds. He looked kind of stunned.

"Clary, don't you want to put this guy away?" he yelled back.

"Sebastian, I can't! I just can't!" I must have been pretty loud, since everybody was dead silent. I looked around for a moment, terrified. Maia must have been able to tell.

"Clary?" she asked, moving closer.

"I just want to be alone!" I screamed, running out of the studio, still in my tank top and fuzzy shorts. I wouldn't care if I was wearing footsie pj's and a bunny hat, I just wanted out of there.

I ran for blocks and blocks until I reached my quiet spot, a little town with nobody living in it. I ran right into an alleyway, not paying attention to the figures in the darkness when I stopped and started crying.

RPOV (Raphael)

I was just driving to school in my convertible in the morning when I heard somebody screaming close by. I immediately sped up, driving closer to the source of the sound until I reached Dellwood, a little abandoned town. There was a darkened alleyway, and the sound seemed to be coming from there. I took the baseball bat Aline made me keep in car from the backseat and got out, running into the alleyway carefully. I was surprised when I saw that girl Clary being attacked by three or four men. She was crying more than screaming, her eyes closed. She wasn't even making an attempt to fight back. It looked like the poor girl was stuck in her thoughts, in a memory, maybe.

I knew the feeling.

"Get the hell away from her!" I yelled, whacking anybody and everybody that wasn't a bright red-haired girl with the bat. I hit the last one over the head and he ran off, bloodied now. Clary was still crying, hugging her knees and quietly sobbing. "Clary?" I whispered, trying to get her attention. She looked up, but I don't think she saw me.

"Make it stop," she pleaded softly, tears in her eyes. I took her by the arms and made her stand, helping her walk to her car. When I put her in the passenger seat, she quieted just slightly. I picked up my cell phone and called the school. Faye, the secretary, answered.

"Hello, this is the Brooklyn Institute of…"

"Faye, it's me, Raphael," I quickly told her.

"Raphael, why…"

"I'm calling in sick for an hour," I said.

"You don't sound sick," she pointedly told me. I sighed.

"Fine," and then I fake coughed a few times. "Faye, I'm *cough* dying!"

"Give me one reason," she pestered.

"I plead the fifth," I angrily said, hanging up before she could say something. I looked over at Clary, and she was looking at her feet. I noticed that she was wearing bunny slippers, and under normal circumstances, I'd laugh, but I just couldn't right now. "Clary, I'm taking you to Jace, okay?" She shook her head softly.

"Jace," she whispered to herself, covering her face and crying softly into her palms. "Take me to 1314 Alicante Drive," she told me firmly. And I drove, knowing that wherever that was, _whatever_ was there could help her.

TPPOV

"You've got her?" Valentine asked the man on the other end of the phone.

"Yes," the man replied. "She's quite scarred, crying."

"Good," Valentine said with a wicked smile, his scar bending to the contour of his face. "Bring her to me."

"That might be a problem," the man told him. Valentine frowned.

"1314 Alicante Drive. She'll want to go there. So go there," Valentine said. "It's an abandoned old house, her parents used to live there before they moved out. I'll be waiting, just make sure she gets there." He hung up. As usual, Valentine had a plan.

Clary had been his favorite victim. She hadn't fought him at all, she'd just silently cried, let him have his way with her. She was quiet, very quiet, and that had bothered him. Valentine could tell Clary had problems of her own, perhaps something to do with her father, friends, boyfriend, whatever, he hadn't been concerned. But she'd been almost like a delicate little flower, and for some reason, he was extremely gentle with her, as if she could break at any moment. She'd made something inside Valentine click, and now he had an insatiable need for the unreachable angel. A connection, strong, and very real, had built inside him, and any other girl simply wouldn't be enough. He needed Clary in his hands, fragile and breakable, and only she would fill the void deep in his chest.

"And I'll have her," he said to himself, pacing in the empty house.

CPOV

When Raphael and I reached the house, I looked at him and smiled lightly.

"Thank you," I said, getting out of the car.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I'm fine. I'll call somebody from the studio afterwards to pick me up," I told him. "Thank you," I said again, walking into the house. His car zoomed away quickly.

I walked into the house, empty as usual. Except there was somebody pacing in the main bedroom.

"Mom?" I whispered. "Dad?" I was so hoping one of them would have answers for me, would be able to stop the memories and make me forget.

"Clary," somebody called my name, making me look up. I met eyes I never wanted to see again, one blue, one green. I knew exactly who it was.

"Valentine," I whispered hoarsely. Everything inside me screamed 'run!', but I was rooted to the spot. He moved a step closer, and I took a step backwards. "Stay away from me," I tried to sound menacing, but it sounded like pleading instead.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Clary," he insisted. I wanted to scream 'Yes you will!', but instead, I was quiet and stuck to the ground again.

He touched my bare shoulder, and I tensed up completely, but I didn't move an inch. His fingers slid down my arm to my elbow, then pulled me closer. By now, I was shaking. He traced down the line of the tattoo on my back, angel wings. I'd always had it, and it grew with me, oddly enough. When he reached the hem of my tank top, I tried to tug away from him, but he was much stronger than me, so I was dragged into the bedroom where so many happy memories were made with my mom, dad, and I to make one horrific scene.

I felt used. Used and degraded. Dirty. Dirty, sickened, tainted.

Jace didn't need me now, I was totally closed off to the world, lying there in that old bed with the ugly floral covers all alone, no clothes, soullessly staring into the wall. He was gone. He'd gotten what he wanted. He would come back when he wanted me again. And I'd be forced to just wait. Because if I told anybody, no one would see Clary. They'd see that girl who was raped. That girl who was unfortunate. That mistake of a person. So I quietly lay, waiting for the pain to stop when I knew it never would. And I watched the beige flowery wallpaper dance in my eyes.

JPOV

Raphael told me I might find her here, so I went to 1314 Alicante Drive with a very prepared talk in my head. I'd start with 'Clary, what's wrong?' and if she wanted to be alone, I'd tell her 'Clary, I'm right here for you, you don't have to hide anything.' I was totally unprepared for what I found in that house. She was naked under the covers, bruises all over her body, a deep bite mark between her neck and shoulder, staring at the wallpaper with glazed eyes.

"Clary?" I whispered, hoping she'd hear me. She looked up at me, her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm scared," she almost inaudibly whispered.

And for the first time, I took her in my arms and cradled the blanket wrapped woman, hugging her and letting her cry into my shoulder.

"Make me forget," she whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck silently. "Make it stop, make the pain stop," she begged. I couldn't do anything for her, and it was killing me.

"Clary, what happened?" I asked as softly as I could. She stopped crying for a moment, trying to think. If I weren't so worried, I would have laughed, since she looked so adorable trying to think, like a baby kitten who was frustrated with a ball of yarn.

"He t-touched me right here," she said, putting her finger on her shoulder. "And here," she slid her finger down her arm to her elbow, then held onto it. "And here," she touched her back, the blanket falling off of her thin, tiny frame as she moved her hand down her back. "And here," she whispered, moving her hand to her hip. "And…"

"Stop," I told her, putting the blanket back on her body and looking deep into her eyes. Usually, it was a bright gold meeting fierce emerald, but her eyes looked like they'd dulled, and I could barely make out green. "Nobody should touch you that way if you don't want them to, okay? Nobody."

"But he did," she softly told me. "Who am I?" And she cried a little more, soundlessly and softly.

I had to get her to a hospital.

TPPOV

"Well done, Kaelie, well done," Valentine said in an almost snakelike voice.

"I thought we agreed not to use names," Kaelie said, using the voice masker on her untraceable number to distort her voice to a male's.

"Yes, yes, of course," he said. She frowned.

"All you wanted to do was sleep with her? You could have done that with me," she said, sounding a little angry.

"She's special," Valentine told her, thinking of the porcelain girl's warmth, the hopelessness in her eyes, the fear she didn't have.

"I want revenge, not rape, Valentine, and you promised me that," she growled. "Jace doesn't deserve anyone, and I'm going to make sure his life is screwed up, with or without you."

"All in dear time," he said with a chuckle.

**Sebastian: It **_**wasn't**_** me? That's a change.**

**Jace: Kaelie? NO!**

**Kaelie: You all suck!**

**Me: I did what I had to do.**

**Clary: At least I did something fun in this chapter… and then got raped.**

**Jon: I'm not even **_**in**_** this chapter.**

**Simon: Neither am I… neither are half the characters.**

**Valentine: Do I **_**have**_** to rape my own daughter?**

**Everyone: GET HIM!**

**Me: So, while they senselessly attack Valentine for something he did or didn't do, hope you enjoyed this chapter… and a new cliffhanger… **** Until next time, readers, ciao!**


	9. AN I'm So Sorry

**To the person who decided to tell me using rape was horrible, tell me that once it's happened to you and you know how it feels. You feel so trashed, like somebody wanted you for a second then threw you away and didn't care what they did to you, but after you accept it, it's not horrible anymore. Sometimes, you can even forgive the person. I still haven't. It might shock you, but rape, murder, theft, all these things are a part of our life because of human mentality and how the mind works. Good can't exist without bad, and that's a very mundane fact. And yes, I was raped when I was 15, and I got over it with much help and support, just like Jace is giving Clary. It hurts both ways, physical and mental, but the mental stays forever. I'm never going to forget, and sometimes, I feel like my entire life revolves around that one event, and it's never going away. I decided I wanted to show people how hard dealing with it can be. I'm sorry if you seem to think I'm deranged, and I'm sorry if I offended you in any way.  
**

**I'm sorry to those of you who didn't like the chapter, I was trying to build plot so I could have Jace and a series of other people run after Valentine and Clary realize how much she means to them… I shouldn't spoil all of it **** Just sorry, that chapter was quick and written while I was extrememly angry at my boyfriend, so when I reread it, it was a disappointment to me.**

**Person – the reason I said Britney over Taylor (Taylor is an amazing artist, but most of her songs have soft beats that are very cute, whereas Britney has strong beats) is because they're dancers, so they like a beat they can follow. Sorry :(**


	10. With The Devil's Help

**Thank you for all the kind words. I really sound like an author? That's a huge compliment! And I almost let that comment get to me until I remembered that I'm writing this for me, because I love to write (though having support from others is nice, too ;)). I guess for this story, I was finding an outlet for all that built up tension in my head about what I was supposed to think after it happened and what I **_**was**_** thinking, and I'm finally figuring it out, using Clary as a little figurehead to walk through my brain and open locked doors. Again, thanks :)**

**On a lighter note, day-before-yesterday I swam with dolphins in North Carolina! Here's chapter number 9… Took me a little while, but I hope you'll enjoy it!**

9

CPOV

Nothing.

I felt nothing. I saw nothing. I heard nothing. All I could feel was that hole in my chest growing deeper and deeper until I couldn't even feel that. I couldn't hear Jace, I couldn't see his warm smile, I couldn't feel his gentle touch on my arm, his loving embrace, his beautiful eyes finding my soul. Finally, I could see something, but it wasn't what I wanted to see. It was a memory. It was the day it happened. My mom and I were standing outside our broken down car.

This was worse than death.

JPOV (Jace)

"Clary, you'll be okay, I'll help," I promised her, fully knowing I couldn't do a thing now. All I could do was trust that Sebastian would help me beat the crap out of this Valentine guy.

"Mom, I told you I didn't want to go," she whispered softly, her hands balling up into tiny fists.

"Clary?" Was she even hearing me? I didn't know, she seemed to not even notice me holding her.

"I don't trust him," she said a little more loudly, looking angry.

"Clary, snap out of it," I tried to wake her out of the trance. I shook her gently, trying to make her see reality, and she opened her eyes. As soon as she saw me, she smiled a little. And then, as if nothing was wrong, she tightened the blankets around her and started walking out of the room. I caught up to her and stopped her, looking at her as if she was crazy. "What's going on?" I asked.

"I just need time to heal, Jace, that's all," she said, like everything was just dandy.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I practically yelled at her. She was calm.

"Nothing," she replied. "I can't do anything about it, so I might as well get over it." And she started walking again. "Can you give me a ride to the studio?" I was still staring at her like a mental patient.

"Alright," I said, knowing I wasn't getting through to her. I'd talk to Sebastian and Jon later.

"That fucking son of a bitch," Jon said, his voice strained. He looked like he was ready to kill whoever spoke next, but I knew he'd need that anger if we were going to stop Valentine.

"We need a plan," I said to the both of them. Sebastian had met up with me and Jon at the bar. The only other person there at this hour was Kaelie, sweeping up and closing shop.

"I have his locations, all his known aids, his phone numbers, and multiple personas," Sebastian told me, sounding almost like he was struggling to talk straight. "Trust me, that bastard's getting put where he belongs."

"Hell?" Jon growled.

"How is she?" Sebastian asked me with sad eyes.

"She's acting fine, like nothing happened, covering it all up," I told them. "I just don't understand Clary sometimes."

"We need the only person who does," Jon said.

"Simon," we all thought aloud at the same time.

SPOV (Simon)

"He _what_?" I screamed. Everybody in the lobby of the apartment complex looked at me as if I was crazy. I didn't give a damn.

"She's closed it up and is acting like it's nothing," Jace explained.

"Typical Clary," I muttered. "She doesn't want to share it. She likes keeping things bottled up. She'll say all she needs is time to heal, but that just means the hole in her chest is getting deeper." They all stared at me oddly. "What? I've been her friend for a long time, we're so close we can watch Lifetime movies together and cry at the sappy ending!" I was too angry, so it didn't sound joking at all.

"What we need is a good strategy," Sebastian said. "I say we find him, question him, arrest him, and put him in a cell with some inmates the precinct pissed off."

"I say we beat the shit out of him," Jon angrily mused.

"How about instead, we approach him calmly, question him, arrest him, _then_ beat the shit out of him?" I asked. Everybody looked at me again, but this time because I was a genius.

"It's a plan," Jace said. And for the first time in a long time, I saw that spark in his eyes, the dark kind, the kind that only happened when you truly loved someone or something enough to put them above yourself, not caring what happened to you as long as they're okay.

I'd felt the same way about her not too long ago.

I still did.

I wouldn't have noticed Kaelie walking by if she hadn't smiled lightly, as if she was thanking me. Something was wrong.

CPOV

I just needed time. That's it. Time.

He hurt me. He'd tried at first, but I'd struggled this time. So he'd done something much worse.

"_Remember your mother?" he asked. I froze again. He smiled, feeling that same surge of control. "Yes, your mother. Did you hear about her death?" I was trying my hardest to be strong, and it was working._

"_No," I whispered, glaring at him as he tried to rip off my clothes. I held them down for the most part, happy that I'd worn the hidden clasp bra today. One more struggle. I just hoped all my tricks wouldn't push him off the edge._

"_And Lucian, Luke Graymark, what a nice guy," he mused with a laugh, making me slightly weaker. What had he done to Luke? He was my favorite 'uncle', and my mom's current boyfriend since my mom and dad divorced. "I heard he's gone insane, lives in an asylum now."_

"_You said you weren't going to hurt me," I said, slightly louder. A wicked smile crossed his lips, but I could only see it's outline with the light caught in the blackened windows._

"_I'm simply telling you the truth," he whispered. "And you're still beautiful." Coming from his lips, it sounded like the worst kind of insult._

_This verbal abuse went on for about an hour as he struggled to break me, and finally, I broke down, curling into a little ball and crying hard. He'd bitten me when I slapped him across the face and tried to kick free, and all the bruises on my body came from his constant pulling and gripping._

Hurt. That's what I felt, hurt. I couldn't describe it any other way, though it was so much deeper than that, so much more writhingly painful.

Jace. I needed Jace because he made me feel so good, like I was weightless, like I could just fly away and never come back.

Simon. I needed Simon because he knew me so well, I could talk to him about anything, do anything with him.

Jon. I needed Jon because he was always there for me, always my friend no matter what, always my big brother.

Even Sebastian. I needed Sebastian because he was wickedly a genius, always knew just what to say or do in any situation.

I needed all of them.

And time.

SPOV (Sebastian)

These guys were kind of idiots. I didn't want to say it, even though I was the one with the gun, but they really were. Jon wanted to do some sort of unplanned attack, Jace wasn't thinking straight, and Simon seemed to be the only one who was thinking reasonably. Well, him and me. I would never intentionally hurt Clary.

I went to rehab for a while, and it turned out that I had problems in my childhood with dependency on my mother, and Clary reminded me of her, so I felt dependent on her, and I thought I needed her (good thing that rehab was free, I'd never pay for someone to tell me I have dependency issues with the woman I love, er, loved).

Right now, we were at the old shipping depot downtown that was pretty much unused, since it was new and would only be opened next summer. And guess who wasn't there?

Valentine.

There was a note though.

_Nice to see the children want to play, but I'll wait for the big kids._

_Valentine_

"Did he just call us fucking toddlers?" Jon asked angrily.

"Thank god toddlers don't curse like you," Simon rolled his eyes at Jon, who glared back.

"He's got a mouse in place among us," I suggested. Everybody looked at me for a moment.

"Anybody want to confess?" Jace asked. I just burst out into laughter, and I wasn't the only one. Simon and Jon joined me shortly. Jace cracked a smile, too.

As soon as it started, the fun was over, because we remembered Clary was suffering while we were laughing about it.

"Let's devise a game," I said wickedly, gesturing for them to walk with me.

I slid the note to Jon over the bar.

"That's where we'll be meeting to discuss the new plan," I said, not even making an attempt to disguise my voice. Jon nodded.

"Alright, I'll be sure to read it," he said back with a smile that said 'gotcha'. I nodded, leaving. Jace, Simon and I were at the door of the half full club, watching. Jon left the note on the counter and went to the cellar to get a 'new bottle'. Jace was filming on the flip-cam I borrowed from the station. He was on the note right now.

"And now we wait," I whispered.

After what seemed like half an hour, I noticed Kaelie's eyes flicker over to the note, and then, making sure Jon was out of sight, she snuck over to it and read it's content quickly, mouthing the words as if to memorize them. Jace's jaw had dropped, but he was still filming.

"She was at the park, too," Simon thought aloud, coming to a realization. "It's her!" he whisper-yelled.

"Only one way to find out," I said, pressing the 'stop' button on the camera. Jace nodded with a smile, looking to Simon, who sighed.

"The plans you make," he said with a shake of his head to me.

CPOV

I had to practice my Michael Jackson, so I was trying to get into character. I wore a fedora, one sparkly white glove, and fitted sparkly vest with comfy black slacks and a white t-shirt. I tied my hair into a bun, though it was huge and beach-babe curly.

_Because I'm bad! I'm bad! You know it!_

First I tried to moonwalk, which I was horrible at, in front of the studio mirror-wall. I laughed at myself even attempting that move. Then I met my eyes in the mirror. The music was blocked out. Slowly, carefully, I approached the unknown person staring at me.

"_Who am I_?" I'd asked Jace. Who _was_ I?

"Who are you?" I whispered, touching her hand in the mirror. She seemed to glare back at me.

"You," she hissed back with a crooked smile showing her sharp, ragged teeth.

It's scary when you know the only thing to be afraid of is yourself.

"You're not me," I said, taking a step back. She stayed exactly where she was.

"Yes I am, I'm you, I know everything about you and everything you don't even know about yourself," she laughed coolly.

If I'd been scared before, I was dead-scared now.

"It's a pity you don't see he's deeply in love with you and always will be," she whispered slowly.

"I know Jace loves me," I said, confused now. She chuckled darkly.

"Not Jace," she said, looking beside her in the mirror. "You make him feel _so_ good, like nothing else, and you could be his in seconds if he wanted, but he likes this little game." And instead of her, I saw someone else, somebody I wasn't ready to see… ever.

My shoe broke the mirror, shattered it into little tiny pieces, just like my fragile state. And for the first time, I really _felt_ it. I felt the emotions I was supposed to feel, what all victims talk about, how weak they are and how they feel so useless, worthless. I _felt_ it.

I didn't even feel the cuts.

Waking up in a hospital isn't the most fun thing to do, especially when four men are all arguing at the tiny table in the corner.

"No, it's not my fault, it's your fault!" Sebastian yelled at Jon.

"Well if you hadn't gotten yourself into this whole fucking mess, we'd be just fine!" Jon yelled back.

"Calm down, you two, it's nobody's fault!" Jace tried to reason.

"So you're saying it's your fault?" Simon angrily shouted at Jace. And then they were all just arguing over each other.

"Really, guys?" I rasped. They all turned to me.

"Clary!" Maybe I was imagining, but they all said my name at the same time. Jace ran up to me and kissed me lightly, but the feeling didn't leave. It was warm, beautiful, like a spring flower blossoming in what remained of my soul. Sebastian and Simon both looked kind of awkward in that scene, but still gave me smiles. Jon looked pissed off.

"Why the hell did you throw a shoe at a mirror?" he yelled.

"Because I thought I saw a spider!" I screamed back. Simon just wryly smiled. "I thought I saw something, _not_ a spider, but… something."

"Or someone," Sebastian said with his arms crossed.

"Clary…" Simon drew out my name in a sort of scolding way. Jace looked down at his watch, then looked back up at the three of them.

"Guys, we have to be at… that place," he said softly. They all seemed to understand, but I was totally confused.

"Wait!" I exclaimed. They stopped. "Come here." They all crowded around the little hospital bed. I struggled to sit up, but when I did, I smiled at them. And then I attacked the four of them in a hug. "I love you guys _so _much, and I don't know where the hell you're all mysteriously going, but please be safe," I said, letting myself relax. I guess they were all surprised, because they were dead silent. I let go of them, and they were all differently expressing happiness.

"Bye, Clare," Sebastian whispered, gesturing for the rest to follow him out the door. And surprisingly, they did.

What did I just let them go into?

JPOV (Jon)

Okay, even though I hate the guy, I have to admit, Sebastian is a fucking genius. Seriously, like mad scientist awesome. I kinda see why Clary went for him… not really, though.

We were watching the empty room with a camera. It was an hour hours before the note said to meet. We'd been videotaping the entire room for about five hours, in case she came before. The door slowly opened. Wearing an all black diver-suit type outfit with a mask, Kaelie walked it. She put her glove on, carefully entering the room. The trap sprung, some tranquilizer darts in the side of the wall. I was watching the entire time, and I still had _no_ idea how Sebastian installed those so seamlessly. She hit them all away before the needles reached her skin skillfully, like she'd been practicing fighting for years. I think all our mouths fell wide open when she did that. She took something out of the package on her belt, a little camera that looked pretty invisible since it was the size of a thumbtack. She attached it to the wall opposite our camera.

"Lock it?" Jace asked.

"Lock it," I nodded. Simon ran out down the hallway and locked the door, coming back and watching the camera. Kaelie tried the door. It was stuck. She tried it again, looking frustrated. She pulled and pulled, but it wasn't moving. She looked about ready to scream it down. That was our cue.

Jace, Simon, and I went to the room, unlocking it and walking in. Surprisingly, she was gone.

"So now that we're alone, how do we figure this out?" Simon asked.

"I think we should wait for Sebastian," I said, and Jace nodded in agreement.

"He'll know exactly what to do," Jace said. Sebastian walked in with a grin, locking the door then looking at us with an emotion I didn't know.

"Hey, thumbs _up_ on getting here early," he said, stressing the word 'up'. We all looked up.

Kaelie jumped off the ceiling, ready to fight us. We were at the four points of the room, so she couldn't escape. After a little senseless fighting, she gave up.

"What do you want?" She screamed, still ready to fight.

"We could ask you the same thing, _Kaelie_," Sebastian spat at her.

And she took off her mask.

"You're… not…"

"No, I'm not," she said with a wicked smile.

**Me: Cliffie again, sorry folks!**

**Jon: Man, I sweat a **_**lot**_**! … I like it.**

**Clary: Oh, reading that, I really**_**do **_**feel hurt!**

**Jace: I barely got anything in this chapter.**

**Me: Calm down, at least I gave you a part!**

**Sebastian: Mad genius, huh? Well if you liked me **_**that**_** much, we could just skip the games and go straight to…**

**Me: And that's a wrap! Hope you liked this chapter, love you all, MissMurderer7834 out!**


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